Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thankful

Blogging has become a thing of my past and that makes me sad.  Maybe with the upcoming changes in our future, I’ll acquire motivation to document our lives more online.  For now, I’m still at the one day at a time stage in life.  This blog has taken second fiddle to things like school, homework, projects, basketball and church when we can manage to show up. 

I miss my blog.  I miss documenting our lives more online.  I miss documenting our lives period!

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I do know that I am and will be forever grateful for the time I spent blogging when my family consisted of four people.  There is so much history and many memories that I recorded during the (approximately) four years I was blogging before.  Thank goodness I had the option to transfer that all to print.  I made four books … one for each year.  Then I deleted the blog.

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While I completely understand our experiences in life make us the people we are today and will become tomorrow, I do not want to live in my past.  I refer to it randomly to celebrate wonderful memories and teach the boys as best I can.  I love looking at old photos and remembering fun and happy times.  I’m thankful that I wrote things down as I did … hopefully there is enough information in those words that the boys will understand how much they were loved by their father.

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Thinking too often about what is no more is painful.  I can’t imagine those feelings ever get easier to ponder.  The fact that we are making no further memories as a four person family is almost unbearable at times.  I try not to think of it.  Being sad does not help anyone. Releasing that sadness is good … but only occasionally.

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And so we continue this journey of life.  We look forward to the future and all of its amazing potential, yet strive to enjoy the present.  Each and every moment is precious.  It is very easy to get caught up in daily life and forget to savor the moments.  They are small.  They are fleeting.  But they are the stuff that make life “life”.  Moments are life.

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Little things like this make me happy:

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No, not the use of the iTouch (although his knowledge is pretty amazing), but his choice in music. 

Okay so maybe he shouldn’t be singing those songs in school, but so much of that music helped form both of his parents younger years.  I want him to understand where we’ve come from … and in turn where he comes from.  AC/DC is part of it … simple as that.

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The past week found us traveling to Oklahoma to visit family in Tulsa for the Thanksgiving holiday.  As it turned out, Grandpa Lee had a big birthday right around the same time, so it was a great time for us to visit.  Lee always spends this holiday with Aunt Joyce, and this year Grandma Lori joined him.

We traveled to Tahlequah and Scraper as well as other nearby places to see where the Gages lived and grew up.  We met with other friends and shared meals and conversation.  There was much talk of memories, past experiences, and current topics, as well as hunting.  Still the daily part of life of many in our family.

Our trip was a good time to relax and simply enjoy each others company.  We visited many different places, saw so many people and put faces with names (finally), ate at the river, skipped rocks, threw some balls, swam in the pool, tasted squirrel, wrestled with cousins, shared video game secrets, and even enjoyed birthday cake.

Wonderful memories were made.  New memories despite the fact that we are simply a three person family now.  We are still living our lives.  Our fate will not be determined by our past circumstances, but how we choose to live each day.

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Act as if everything depended upon you and pray as if everything depended upon God.